blog alice - stupid quizzes in lieu of a decent post

hey....

Sun, 31 Dec 2006 12:56:35 -0500

which stereotype am i? hey. both my mom and grandmother were diner waitresses. well, actually my mom was a pancake house waitress, which is probably a step down from a diner waitress. my grandmother waitressed mickey's diner in berwick for thirty-seven years, flirting with coach curry and giving all her dough except for a small allowance for bingo on saturday nights to my grandfather. she used to bring me home banana creme pies.

Diner Waitress
You Are What You Are

Ooh, we've made some bad choices in life, haven't we?

My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:

You scored higher than 99% on racial
You scored higher than 99% on loserdom
You scored higher than 99% on social
You scored higher than 99% on sexual

Link: The Horrifying Stereotype Test written by RelaxLove on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test

wow...i'm a jerk

Fri, 01 Dec 2006 23:29:10 -0500

Brute
You are 28% Rational, 42% Extroverted, 71% Brutal, and 71% Arrogant.

You are the Brute! You are introverted, arrogant, brutal, and more intuitive than rational. Like a big, dumb animal, you are driven by your emotions more than your reason, and as a result of the fact that you care very little for the feelings of others, you tend to be rather selfish. You also possibly fling your own poo. Because of your selfishness, you also tend to be a bit arrogant, seeing yourself as big or strong or smart or always correct. This makes you a stubborn, irrational, emotion-driven brute. King Kong best represents the gorilla-version of your personality. Emotional, introverted (King Kong was isolated on his own island, after all), brutal, and arrogant (proud to be the largest ape on Earth!), Kong would probably get along very well with you, seeing as how you share many of the same traits. Aside from, you know, all the fur. You probably keep to yourself and take great pleasure in watching fat people fall down stairs. (But who doesn't, really?) You probably also have dreams of becoming famous or well-known, but this most likely won't happen because your introversion limits your Hollywood connections. Being introverted, ape-like, and arrogant isn't so bad, though. It beats being dead. So your personality defect is simply that you act like a large, overgrown ape that thinks highly of itself whilst brutalizing buxom blondes. Or something.

Try to stay off of buildings.

To put it less negatively:

1. You are more INTUITIVE than rational.

2. You are more INTROVERTED than extroverted.

3. You are more BRUTAL than gentle.

4. You are more ARROGANT than humble.

Compatibility:

Your exact opposite is the Hand-Raiser.

Other personalities you would probably get along with are the Class Clown, the Schoolyard Bully, and the Sociopath.

If you scored near fifty percent for a certain trait (42%-58%), you could very well go either way. For example, someone with 42% Extroversion is slightly leaning towards being an introvert, but is close enough to being an extrovert to be classified that way as well. Below is a list of the other personality types so that you can determine which other possible categories you may fill if you scored near fifty percent for certain traits.

The other personality types:

The Emo Kid: Intuitive, Introverted, Gentle, Humble.

The Starving Artist: Intuitive, Introverted, Gentle, Arrogant.

The Bitch-Slap: Intuitive, Introverted, Brutal, Humble.

The Brute: Intuitive, Introverted, Brutal, Arrogant.

The Hippie: Intuitive, Extroverted, Gentle, Humble.

The Televangelist: Intuitive, Extroverted, Gentle, Arrogant.

The Schoolyard Bully: Intuitive, Extroverted, Brutal, Humble.

The Class Clown: Intuitive, Extroverted, Brutal, Arrogant.

The Robot: Rational, Introverted, Gentle, Humble.

The Haughty Intellectual: Rational, Introverted, Gentle, Arrogant.

The Spiteful Loner: Rational, Introverted, Brutal, Humble.

The Sociopath: Rational, Introverted, Brutal, Arrogant.

The Hand-Raiser: Rational, Extroverted, Gentle, Humble.

The Braggart: Rational, Extroverted, Gentle, Arrogant.

The Capitalist Pig: Rational, Extroverted, Brutal, Humble.

The Smartass: Rational, Extroverted, Brutal, Arrogant.

Be sure to take my Sublime Philosophical Crap Test if you are interested in taking a slightly more intellectual test that has just as many insane ramblings as this one does!

My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:

You scored higher than 99% on Rationality
You scored higher than 99% on Extroversion
You scored higher than 99% on Brutality
You scored higher than 99% on Arrogance

Link: The Personality Defect Test written by saint_gasoline on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test

since i've been taking life WAY too seriously lately

Wed, 22 Nov 2006 12:56:18 -0500

Indie Band
Congratulations! You scored 80%!

You're starting to gather a small following of pop culture nerds. Scour the internet for Vanilla Ice's lost second hit "Ninja Rap" from the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Movie.

My test tracked 1 variable How you compared to other people your age and gender:

You scored higher than 86% on Hits

Link: The One Hit Wonder Test written by dannolan4 on OkCupid, home of the The Dating Persona Test

what the hell? i wanted to be hasshelhoff german progger extraordinaire

Thu, 19 Jan 2006 09:42:49 -0500

via lauren

YnR Soap Star Hasselhoff

You are Hasselhoff, the Y&R Soap Star. Melodramatic yet somehow, curiously, beautiful and wonderful. Without you, the world would not know the awe and wonder of the Hoff.

Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com

update via andrew: what happens when you're married to mad dog (and broke)

yet another categorizing, essentialist sex test

Fri, 09 Dec 2005 22:39:10 -0500

wow. i'm androgynous. meaning my gyn is andro. like the matrix. and keanu reeves.

Androgynous
You scored 80 masculinity and 50 femininity!

You scored high on both masculinity and femininity. You have a strong personality exhibiting characteristics of both traditional sex roles.

My test tracked 2 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:

You scored higher than 89% on masculinity
You scored higher than 24% on femininity

Link: The Bem Sex Role Inventory Test written by weirdscience on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

when will you croak? (um...hopefully, not from bowel toughness)...

Sun, 27 Nov 2005 15:17:50 -0500

The Death Test	www.okcupid.com/death

According to our research, you'll be dead by

June 2055
at age 81

- probable cause -

YOU DIE:

81.2 years

AVERAGE FEMALE LIFE SPAN:

77.1 years

As you can plainly see, you have more health & vitality than the average woman.

WHY YOU DIE?
56%	cancer
24%	ulcers/bowel toughness
13%	overdose
5%	drowning of the lungs
2%	wounds

You have 18115.8 days left on this earth.

You've already lived 39% of your life.

http://www.okcupid.com/death

i am really avoiding editing this paper....

Sun, 20 Nov 2005 12:26:35 -0500

Very Well-Rounded

You have:
62% SCIENTIFIC INTUITION and
62% EMOTIONAL INTUITION

The graph on the right represents your place in Intuition 2-Space. As you can see, you scored above average on emotional intuition and above average on scientific intuition. (Weirdly, your emotional and scientific intuitions are equally strong.)

Your Emotional Intuition score is a measure of how well you understand people, especially their unspoken needs and sympathies. A high score score usually indicates social grace and persuasiveness. A low score usually means you're good at Quake.

Your Scientific Intuition score tells you how in tune you are with the world around you; how well you understand your physical and intellectual environment. People with high scores here are apt to succeed in business and, of course, the sciences.

Try my other test!
The 3 Variable Funny Test
It rules.

My test tracked 2 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:

You scored higher than 47% on Scientific
You scored higher than 33% on Interpersonal

Link: The 2-Variable Intuition Test written by jason_bateman on Ok Cupid, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

i thought FER SURE (in my best floyd impersonation) that i was going to get oscar...

Sun, 20 Nov 2005 12:16:18 -0500

Cookie Monster
You scored 33% Organization, 60% abstract, and 47% extroverted!

This test measured 3 variables.

First, this test measured how organized you are. Some muppets like Cookie Monster make big messes, while others like Bert are quite anal about things being clean.

Second, this test measured if you prefer a concrete or an abstract viewpoint. For the purposes of this test, concrete people are considered to gravitate more to mathematical and logical approaches, whereas abstract people are more the dreamers and artistic type.

Third, this test measured if you are more of an introvert or an extrovert. By definition, an introvert concentrates more on herself and an extrovert focuses more on others. In this test an introvert was somebody that either tends to spend more time alone or thinks more about herself.

You are more sloppy, both concrete and abstract, and about equally introverted and extroverted.

Here is why are you Cookie Monster.

You are both sloppy. You might not always know where everything you need is. Perhaps you don't even care. Hopefully you don't shovel food into your mouth at least.

You both are partially concrete and abstract thinkers. Cookie Monster knows what he wants (cookies!) and he consistently works toward that goal. However he comes up with imaginative and unusual strategies in pursuit of that goal. You have a good balance in your life. You know when to be logical at times, but you also aren't afraid to explore your dreams and desires... within limits of course.

You are both somewhat introverted. Cookie Monster might not have the most sophisticated syntax, but he does have some friends. He is close with Ernie. You probably like to have some time to yourself, but you do like spending time with your friends, and you aren't scared of social situations.

The other possible characters are
Oscar the Grouch
Big Bird
Snuffleupagus
Ernie
Elmo
Kermit the Frog
Grover
The Count
Guy Smiley
Bert

If you enjoyed this test, I would love the feedback! Also if you want to tell me your favorite Sesame Street character, I can total them up and post them here. Perhaps your choice will win!

My test tracked 3 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:

You scored higher than 3% on Organization
You scored higher than 68% on concrete-abstra
You scored higher than 17% on intro-extrovert

Link: The Your SESAME STREET Persona Test written by greencowsgomoo on Ok Cupid, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

which absurd cat are YOU?

Tue, 08 Nov 2005 18:16:18 -0500

You scored as Drunk Cat. Put down the bottle, Cheech. Sign up for some AA classes and drink a glass of water. Bars are ok once in a while, but you shouldn't be sleeping at them.

Drunk Cat

100%

Couch Potato Cat

92%

Derranged Cat

75%

Pissed at the World Cat

67%

Ninja Cat

42%

Love Machine Cat

Nerd Cat

Which Absurd Cat are you?
created with QuizFarm.com

what kind of postmodernist are you?

Mon, 07 Nov 2005 11:48:02 -0500

via banke$ - the uberpostmodernist

um...and that's "scabies"

You are a Grassroots Activist. Anti-capitalist,
anti-patrist, anti-authoritarian, whatever,
you're just fuckin' anti. You probably tell
people you hate postmodernism, but that
assertion elides the complex interdependencies
among academic poststructuralism and
street-level activism. You don't bathe
regularly, and know at least one person who has
scabbies.

What kind of postmodernist are you!?
brought to you by Quizilla

who the hell is 'rick gervais'?

Fri, 29 Jul 2005 14:03:52 -0400

via lauren

the Wit
(56% dark, 39% spontaneous, 38% vulgar)

your humor style:
CLEAN | COMPLEX | DARK

You like things edgy, subtle, and smart. I guess that means you're probably an intellectual, but don't take that to mean you're pretentious. You realize 'dumb' can be witty--after all isn't that the Simpsons' philosophy?--but rudeness for its own sake, 'gross-out' humor and most other things found in a fraternity leave you totally flat.

I guess you just have a more cerebral approach than most. You have the perfect mindset for a joke writer or staff writer. Your sense of humor takes the most effort to appreciate, but it's also the best, in my opinion.

Also, you probably loved the Office. If you don't know what I'm talking about, check it out here: http://www.bbc.co.uk/comedy/theoffice/.

PEOPLE LIKE YOU: Jon Stewart - Woody Allen - Ricky Gervais

My test tracked 3 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:

You scored higher than 66% on dark
You scored higher than 0% on spontaneous
You scored higher than 33% on vulgar

Link: The 3 Variable Funny Test written by jason_bateman on OkCupid Free Online Dating

what's your blogging personality?

Wed, 20 Jul 2005 03:34:30 -0400

via dr.b.

Your Blogging Type is Confident and Insightful

You've got a ton of brain power, and you leverage it into brilliant blog. Both creative and logical, you come up with amazing ideas and insights. A total perfectionist, you find yourself revising and rewriting posts a lot of the time. You blog for yourself - and you don't care how popular (or unpopular) your blog is!

What's Your Blogging Personality?

which vd are you?

Fri, 24 Mar 2006 23:03:49 -0500

Which VD are you?

which david bowie are you?

Wed, 13 Jul 2005 01:31:41 -0400

Which David Bowie are you?

(make sure your popups are blocked before taking this one)

sex or something else quiz

Fri, 01 Jul 2005 16:46:28 -0400

via the countess

i got 11/17. guess i'm out of practice. click here.