i took my panel on tourism in south africa to the 2006 usaclals conference at santa clara university in santa clara, california, two weekends ago. the campus was lovely, and we had a nice audience.

the mission church

Ngugi wa Thiong'o, UC Irvine, and Pradyumna S. Chauhan, Arcadia University

i got my togos and ken got his...bevmo...

after the academic rigors, it was into san fran and dinner at the stinking rose and a walk around afterward

the bay bridge from coit tower

pier 39 regulars

saturday included a drive down the 1, with a pitstop at pigeon point

and onto pt. ano nuevo, at which i failed to spend enough time when i lived in pacifica

above the elephant seals

a jaunt down the dune

female elephant seals sunning (i have an hour's worth of video)

the kelp and seaweed drew the flies, which were thwarted by flying sand (relieving an itch)

the scarring/body marking was interesting. nothing hinted at a scrape with a white.

the point

point ano nuevo island, locus for much filming on whites

glub glub glub

later that night on santa cruz pier

did i really take this?? nooo. not me.

I attended the AIS conference at the University of Wisconsin, Madison, yesterday, and had another disturbing postcolonial moment. Referencing an earlier blog alice, in which I expressed my emotional upset for being criticized for "applying" THE trauma model to an episode which prefigured psychoanalysis in the 19th century. I felt equally disjointed/disrupted/dismayed yesterday, when an archaeologist from Michigan State University presented his paper. The presentation focused on his reaction to a "young native american" woman who spoke against anthropology by claiming that no one would ever be able to understand her. This fierce rejection of anthropology, and the horrors wrought by it, I can understand, and it seems, naturally, that our seemingly kind and non-self-reproaching archaeologist would take offense to her response, as he admitted to "attending powwows" and "eating" with the participants. He thus constructed his paper around said response, deconstructing it based on arguments of objectivty and Walter Truett Anderson's Reality Isn't What It Used to Be--comparing the umpire's calls on balls and strikes to define postmodernism's response...to what? I'm not sure: Three baseball umpires are sitting around over beers after a game. One says, "There's balls and there's strikes, and I call 'em the way they are." Another says, "There's balls and there's strikes, and I call 'em the way I see 'em." The third says, "There's balls and there's strikes, and they ain't nothin' until I call 'em." All regarding perceiving and molding reality. Regardless, despite the previous regarding, the guy was attacked mercilously by an audience member from the University of Illinois.

The first woman to speak gently suggested to him that he was not reading the native woman's response sensitively enough, that her response appeared to be more a cry for a "new anthropology," whatever that might be. But riding on her train, another lady "Illini" was claiming to be a bit more blunt. Her responses: "You got it wrong" and "Eurocentric" stick out in my head most of all, and everything in between was lost to its ringing. I was appalled. I twitched in my seat for another few moments, watching the woman rip him an new one, interrupting him when he tried to speak. Watching all of the heads on the far side of the room surrounding her, nodding in agreement. And me sitting on my hands and tongue, struggling not to tell her to shut the fuck up. Listening to the reading and taking notes, I was not drawn to worry. I was not drawn to label him "eurocentric." I was not drawn to lash out at him in front of a roomful of 20 people. Then again, last semester, when I was frequently criticized for my responses in my postcolonial theories seminar (mostly when I claimed to "relate" to something), I didn't think I was saying anything "wrong" per se. Perhaps it was just me, imagining myself in his position, torn to shreds by an ignorant woman who had little to no tact, who could have easily pulled him aside to discuss his presentation (rather than stating in front of more that room that he "got it wrong").

I got up and left. After she started complaining about having to live as an Illini--recalling the first presentation on mascots. But then again, one does not have to attend a school if she does not approve of the mascot (I was a trojan for six years. Did I bitch? Or does that make me eurocentric to compare the evil, imperial founders of Rome/a giant condom with a name stolen from former area tribes? Probably. But eurocentrists get paid better, anyway). Later, discussing the moment with another student, she suggested that sometimes people need a "push" in order to wake them up to insensitive readings, and that she couldn't believe that MSU had let him off campus with a paper like that. "Purdue wouldn't." And again, I was troubled. My questions....would a woman who gave them same presentation been treated as such? Would a native who gave the same presentation have been treated as such? (I ask because the presenter directly before Mr. MSU was a woman "with native blood" returning to do research on schools in a native community, and presenting on her study of the community). What sort of role was this woman trying to take? Dismantling yet another hegemonically-bound white man? How outdated is that? It appeared to me that she was seeking her own notch of power, as everything she said was much more calmly and succintly stated by the previous speaker. Regardless of her, where does this leave me? Who did not speak up? What did I fear? What could I have said? "Wait..you're overreacting a bit, eh?" or "I didn't think his presentation was that bad." I silenced myself. While the "fighting Illini" spoke for the woman in Mr. MSU's paper just as much as he did.

Well I'm off now to my third conference in 6 weeks...the AISC up in Madison, WI, for a roundtable discussion our seminar's interpretations of literacy and manuscript in 19th century American Indian works. I'm hoping they will have edible sustenance there, as opposed to here in Lafayette. The dog will be terrorizing the Red Roof Inn (for $39.99 a night!). Now I just have to survive a night without my Res......*twitch* *twitch* *drool*. (should the period go inside of the asterix?) I'm also excited because I'm in talks with Mary to create a panel on digital learning in the classroom. I'm more and more kicking myself for not taking dr.b.'s Minority Rhetoric class this semester. I'm wondering how time-consuming it would be to double my secondary area in women's studies with rhetoric, as both dr. b. and Mary have suggested. God, I'll be mired in the recesses of Heavilon til I'm 90!

Well, I survived another one, after a near nervous breakdown last night, freaking out because I hadn't finished it. Stayed up til 2, woke up at 7, wrote another paragraph, drove to Indy, and stumbled into the CEA. Apologized to the valet for the 2" coating of dog hair in the back seat (didn't apologize for all of the Newberry reserve slips on the front seat). Got to see Sean Conrey's presentation (in between negotiating an affordable car insurance rate despite two $&*#ing New Joisey traffic tickets 3 years ago)--and why is it that the college women's basketball coaches try to look like men? Anyway, I presented in a panel for African American Gardens (which made no sense, because none of us discussed African American Gardens--Antiguan, Iranian, British, and Indo-Trinidadian, yes, but no African American--go figure). I was petrified. Not only because I wasn't pleased with my polishing of the paper; it was also very....risqueeeeee'. I discussed the mapping of female genitalia and Xuela's appropriation of masturbation as resistance to colonial domination in Kincaid's The Autobiography of My Mother (tied in Mala's resistance in her garden in Mootoo's Cereus Blooms at Night as well). But surprisingly, everything went well. I received numerous questions and good words, so my sitting in the park last night and banging my head into my knees was for nada. Dammit--and why do they allow beer at pro games and none at the NCAA games? I was able to talk to some interesting people from Texas as well as to the luncheon speaker from Tulane. Managed not to run out of gas, even though I left Lafayette on 1/4 tank. Then, as therapy, I came home and played about 4 hours of Resident Evil. As for the weekend....except for a meeting with my students regarding their project tomorrow--they somehow managed to get my cell phone number from the school and called at 9:30PM last night--hadn't had that happen since the community college days--one girl called at 1:30AM, and she wasn't even in my class anymore, which made me stop giving my number to students--I'll be wooing Reyita and pumping out a 25-page seminar paper from somewhere in my ravaged intellect. Five more weeks....five more weeks....five more weeeeeeeeksss....wah.